Fighting Back Against Depression

Depression has been something that I have learned to live with, for almost 31 years of life. It took me a great while to come forward and talk about it, largely because of the immense social stigma that surrounds it. A lot of people assume that because one struggles with depression, that they must be weak and only need to be tougher.

Worse yet, many people assume that they have to go into the battle alone. I started noticing bouts with sadness flow in and out of my life. But when winter came, the sadness was prolonged. Like a visitor who over stayed it's welcome. As a kid, getting out of my wheel-chair and pretending to be a ninja turtle or power ranger was my greatest escape.

And it still is, not in the sense that I still pretend I'm a power ranger or some sort of super hero (okay, maybe there is some truth to that). But this is vastly why I started Adaptive Defense, was so that people in wheel-chairs, people that use crutches or that people with various health issues can not only learn to protect themselves, but so that they can experience the same Joy that martial arts has given me.

I know that when I get on the mats, or pick up a bar-bell all the sadness and regret fades away. All I want is the same for you, there is peace to be discovered in life, the storm doesn't have to prevail.

-Brandon Ryan
Adaptive Defense Founder   

You Must Fight

That's what I've been telling myself this week... "You must fight" Over and over again,  I haven't been able to train much (grappling wise) due to my left foot still recovery from an infection. I've had to a lot from a sitting position on the ground. Life has seemed to be exceedingly difficult this week.

But I was faced with two options:

1) I could allow the heaviness of life to hold me down..

or 2) I could keep fighting...

Thankfully, God made me a fighter, because some how I find the strength to keep moving forward. The last several weeks I have been talking to my students a lot about perseverance and character shaping. I long for my students to not only be tough physically, but mentally and emotionally. Life will come at you hard, it spares no one, so you have to be ready to have your defenses up for when it does attack. 

We must be willing to adapt to the current life brings with it, that is the number one thing training in martial arts has taught me. Martial arts is not about being able to exhort physical aggression on someone, although there may be a time that calls for it. The point then is self-mastery, being able to control your emotions and thought process.

Do not confuse self-mastery with perfection, we will always fall short and there is always room for growth. Self-mastery, in this context will take a life time, but the point is that your learning, growing, adapting and overcoming.

You must fight.   

Learning to Survive

Survival is a must in this life, in our society we are extremely individual based, which isn't universally bad in its-self. When life becomes overwhelming we need others to hold us up and even care for us. As my friend's in Fit-To Fight like to say "Everyone's fighting something".

I find this to be true, some are just better at hiding the enemy their fighting against, be that depression, addiction, self-doubt and so one. The past few days I have been in an out of the hospital due to an infection in my left foot. Worse yet, muscle spasms have been adding to the equation. These spasms have been the worst I have ever experienced to date. The spasms have shot from my foot, all the way up to my lower back and doctors aren't sure why.

It's been hard for me to stand up, walk and even make it to the bath room in time. Luckily I have had the most awesome friends to help me through this rough time. Going back to the pain however, it was so excruciating that I could barely take a step with my crutches, my back would start to seize on me.

But I kept telling my body "just take a step... Just take a step, then another... you'll make it". I always began to be reminded that the pain could last an hour, a few days, a month or even a year, but that the pain would pass. This is what it takes to survive, the mental, emotional and even physical where-with all to know that you will make it.

The key is knowing that no matter what, you can't give up, you have to keep fighting and moving forward. We can't make it in this life alone, no matter how much we try to make ourselves believe it. It's a lie. We need others and we need to daily train ourselves to be the best warriors we can be.

-Brandon Ryan, Adaptive Defense